Nick Hacheney and His Sheeples: The Harsh Reality

Hi Kim,

Thanks for the moral critique. Your view point is interesting.

I’d just like to clear up something that you address in your first paragraph–about how tough it is to believe that anyone could fall for such BS concerning a “man of God” with the media exposure available today– The events in A TWISTED FAITH happened over ten years ago. I’m not sure that one of us had a computer in our home at the time, certainly not the internet. These tools came soon after. And when they did, they certainly opened up a huge window to the outside world. There were no stories coming our way of BS preachers exploiting their congregants.

I don’t even think that the Catholic abuse issues had hit the mainstream media, let alone the vast array of abuse stories we are privy to today.

Personally, I thought the book explained the isolationist elements of our church community quite well.

Annette, If you didn’t have computers, how were you and Sandi emailing Nick, and you at least, were IM’ing him from your home? Did you already forget what you told Gregg Olsen? By the way, the Internet was pretty much in use by 1993, and your affair with Nick was 1998? Kim Cantrell doesn’t mention the Internet, only “media,” which surely you picked up a newspaper or watched the news during this time to find out what was going on in the world outside of Bainbridge Island. Or did you not have any interest in anything outside your own little world? Do you not remember Jim Jones (1978) or David Koresh (1993)? There was a lot of media coverage on those two, I don’t know how you missed it. Those stories certainly would have “come your way” if you had your eyes and ears open. Or do you want to say perhaps that your “pastors” monitored your reading material and television watching? Is that what “isolationist elements” you are referring to? No, I didn’t read that in the book. If I missed it I apologize. I know you were quite busy running to Nick’s every beck and call, and then crying about it with Sandy in between times…but these two BS preachers who exploited their congregants came way before that. Did you need the media to remind you of what YOUR morals were? Would that have helped you turn down the attentions of someone you labeled a narcissist and sociopath, and stick to the vows you made to your husband?

You said you didn’t have a computer, and obviously you did, so be clear.

If you didn’t ever watch the news, then I’m correct, you had no interest in anything outside your own little world. Not sure what you mean that Spring 1998 was “well after” Dawn’s death (Dec 26, 1997) or what “so-called affairs” you are referring to…Sandy’s and Nick’s? Or what any of that has to do with not knowing or caring what is going on in the world. You weren’t interested in the world, yet you expect other people to be interested in your own mindset of cheating on your husband with your church’s youth pastor? That is a rather conceited attitude.

I only read the book, I don’t know any other version. You don’t come across well in the book…you do seem to know, or say in the book, that you were in a “bad” situation, doing something that you didn’t really want to do, so yes, I do believe you were aware that you were getting into a very bad situation right from the start, but you decided to go ahead with it anyway. I agree with the reviewer: ‘But when you consent to a sexual affair with someone, it is a CHOICE.

EVEN IF YOU DO IT BECAUSE IT’S “GOD’S PLAN.”’
In the book you say you made a “mistake.” Well, Nick could claim the same, but you call him an abuser. At least he wasn’t married. We really don’t get to hear Nick’s side of the story, although he seems like a real jerk. Strange that everyone (except Dawn – she must have wanted to get married in the worst way) in college recognized that he was a loser. Try though you may, I, and a lot of other readers, will never believe that you were stupid enough to fall for Nick’s line. You were with Nick because you wanted to be. If you didn’t want to be, if you didn’t want to cheat, then you wouldn’t have. There was some need he met in you, that you desired this attention from him. Also as the review states: “… her relationship with Nick was sold to us as if she didn’t really want to have an extramarital affair with Nick but did so in the name of God.
Yet repeatedly she was irate with him for being close to other women, for not showing up for planned meetings, and actually sought him out on some occasions.
What the –?
Seriously, I can’t fathom seeking out something or someone that I am so reluctant about.”
I noticed this as well. Your jealousy of Nicole was very clear. The whole time I was reading about your and Sandy’s “friendship” it seemed that you were well aware that she was sleeping with Nick too…from the things that she said, the things you said to her, the way she acted and from her devastation at his email breaking up with her. In the book, it’s quite obvious in the interactions that she had with you, that she had been with him. Perhaps you were too wrapped up in your own little world with Nick, even though the recreation of these conversations come from you, right? But when you find out, you say that she “betrayed” you – you obviously wanted to be special to Nick. Your behavior throughout is NOT one of a woman who is having sex for duty purposes only. And supposedly you were very upset with Nick for his bad treatment of Nicole and Sandy, Still, you wouldn’t stop sleeping with him, despite his meanness to your “friends” that you cared so deeply for. When you remark to Sandy how tired you are of it and maybe you should end it, and she replied, yes you should, you become pretty ticked off that she agrees with you! What did you want her to say to you, “oh no, you should go on sleeping with Nick even though you complain to me all the time about it.” People get sick of hearing it. Basically, in the book, you come across as a person who says one thing, but goes ahead and does what she really wants to do, and expects everyone else to just believe what you say. But you want everyone to understand what you say was your mindset at that time. It isn’t credible in your situation. If Nick had done this to some 15 year old (single) girl, then yes, I would understand. But not a 30 year old married woman who is supposed to be taking care of her 3 kids and believe in God, the Bible and the ten commandments. You actually OFFER to give your child Dimetapp (when Nick suggests Benadryl) so that he will sleep so that you can meet Nick’s sexual needs. Did God want you to do that to your child? It really seems that Nick was your God. You can’t have it both ways. I also agree with the reviewer in this: “it doesn’t mean that I’m required to set [sic] back and accept the continous [sic] shoveling of BS being fed.” She isn’t referring to just Nick, Annette.
No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you only did it for God, it won’t work on anyone who has a lick of common sense.

Why can’t people think for themselves?

It IS possible to know right from wrong WITHOUT blindly following some ridiculous dogma.

I belonged to a church exactly like this one in another state. It is not possible for people who have not experienced brainwashing and religious manipulation to understand how this could happen, but it can and does – even with the Internet.

There are so many things that play a part in creating a ripe environment for religious predators like this. Centuries of teaching women that their role is to be subservient to men and to be the caretakers of the needy. The Bible puts pastors above men and both of them above women. The church and the Bible send constant messages and teachings to obey men of God without question and tell story after story of what happens to those who do not. They teach us to always have a “servant” mentality, ostracizing anyone who questions them or doesn’t obey. They vilify anyone who speaks out against what they are teaching, and the list goes on and on.

It takes years and years to pull this off. I know because I watched it happen in my own church from the time I was 13 until I was 24. I did not become a physical victim only because I was, fortunately, too selfish and rebellious to do what I was told. Still, I was labeled as such and was kept on the outskirts of the church and its activities because of it. The congregants regarded me as having “religious demons” of rebellion and anger. (And a slew of others, I’m sure.) Still, even I believed I was the bad one.

It is a mistake to think these pastors just walk up to a woman and say, “Hey, let’s have sex!” If they did, anyone would see that. These people are experts at manipulation and brainwashing, and it takes a very long time to create the atmosphere and mental conditioning that allows these women to become trapped by it.

Even if the women were to see their own pastor on the 6:00 news accused of sexual impropriety, those who are brainwashed will not see it. They will immediately think that the woman reporting it has wrongfully exposed a man of God and his “higher revelation of God,” either because the devil is using her to destroy God’s work through that pastor or because she just doesn’t understand this higher revelation like the truly spiritual do.

Just as surely as people all over the world will continue to get caught up in this type of manipulation, so, too, will people who haven’t experienced it for themselves, claim it could not possibly happen. It will never change.

The only thing I could think the whole time watching this chaos is this lady, Annette, is either THE dumbest and most pathetic woman alive or she is a very deceitful, selfish, and manipulative woman who turns her own mistakes into the mistakes of others. And somehow she convinces others of this. Let’s not forget, SHE DRUGGED HER CHILD TO GAIN SEXUAL PLEASURE. When did the maternal instinct go out the window? That alone proves to me she knew what she was doing and nothing, not even her own child was going to stop her from fulfilling HER DESIRES. In that moment, SHE LOVED HERSELF MORE THAN HER CHILD, HUSBAND AND WHATEVER “GOD” SHE WORSHIPS. She won’t change. She has an innate deceit about her.

I just finished this book after staying up till all hours 3 nights in a row to do so. I would read until my eyes snapped shut. Utterly fascinating. I have not lived in such a world myself but had a coworker recently who did, and I just couldn’t wrap my head around how she basically disconnected her brain when it came to pronouncements from her pastor, her spouse, or other male authority figures. Her life took some bad turns due to her subservience and having witnessed that, I felt I had some understanding of the world depicted in “A Twisted Faith,” and appreciated the opportunity to learn more about women who get caught in this kind of mess.

Annette, I thank you very much for sharing more information here. On the one hand I find it hard to comprehend how events unfolded for you (and the other women) but I believe it. And I hope your messages reaches people who need to hear it – who need to know that God gave us ALL brains, and free will, and that it is very dangerous to unquestioningly turn it all over to another human. Power corrupts, as we see all too often with authority figures – no matter how many or how few they hold influence over.

Karen, your explanation of your former church was a much more articulate explanation of what I am trying to say here. Thank you.

One question I still had after finishing the book was whether Nick believed his own BS. I know he was raised to think he was so special – and certainly he continued to be treated that way as the years went on. I tend to think he really thought that his own desires were God giving him the go-ahead. Scary.